| Lyric | artist | Temp? | but really though? |
|---|---|---|---|
| And the weather is sizzling hot Mister, pants for romance is not’Cause it’s too, too, too darn hot |
Ella Fitzgerald | 100+ | There is no hope. |
| Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head | The Lovin’ Spoonful | 95 | Good god it’s hot. Like, have a mojito hot. Buy a plane ticket hot. Lock the doors and sleep in the basement until October hot. |
| It’s so hot in here it’s running down the walls And it’s dripping in my eyes from my hair It’s hot it’s so hot |
The March Violets | 82 | Burn your pants, burn your sweaters. You’ll never be comfortable again. |
| Lukeworm and hating it. Filthy and tepid. Filthy and tepid. | See The Light | 68 | Puddles are getting kind of scummy. It’s probably raining. And not, like, “Sweater Weather” rain. Crappy rain. |
| Inside this place is warm Outside it starts to pour |
The Neighbourhood | 55 | Ho man. Sweater Weather. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. This is the best. |
| Baby, it’s cold outside. | Frank Loesser | 40 | It’s not that cold. Not even icy. Get yourself home. |
| “It’s cold as ice.” | Foreigner | 32 | It’s literally freezing out there. Get some gloves, and keep your ears covered. You’ll catch your death of cold. |
| It’s cold here. Sunshine falls like a snowstorm. It’s only cold for me. If I touch anything, it freezes so I’m afraid to hold your hand. |
Epik High | 12 | This here is your classic “Christmas Story” blizzard. If it’s too cold to hold someone’s hand, definitely refrain from licking lightposts, ski poles, ice skates, and anything else you might get stuck to. It’s super embarrassing. |
| It’s colder than a well digger’s ass. | Tom Waits | 0 | Where you’ve actually been working pretty hard and even though it’s legit cold out you’re working up a little bit of a sweat (especially in the buttcrack region) and then your union break comes up so you crack your thermos with the Bailey’s coffee in it and have a seat and just, like, enjoy the damn stars for a minute but then you go to hop back up, to get back to it, and your swass is frozen to the permafrost. You know what I mean. The pitts. Really. |
| Colder than a polar bear soaked in liquid nitrogen Something like a tray of ice cubes |
The Palmer Squares | -23 | Like, Butte cold. |
| It’s colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups pulling a number-four trap up a hill in the dead of winter in the middle of a snowstorm with a mouth full of porcupine quills. | Tom Waits | ????? | This is real. |
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Somewhere in New York a ball is waiting to drop. In a couple of days, they'll hoist that gaudy thing to the top of 1 ... Read more
That was amazingly spot on. Good funnies!
Thanks for the reminder that my loins have recessed into my abdomen and will not expose themselves to the elements again until ground hogs day.